The Adventure of Charlie Hamilton

I’ve been meaning to share this story which my daughter, Faye, wrote last November 2011, but I was so busy that I didn’t find the time to do it, but at least, I was able to publish it in Triond and shared it in Facebook.  But let me just share with you my daughter’s journey as a writer.  This story was a requirement in one of her subjects in school.  When she first got her assignment, she asked me if I can help her come up with  a story.  I told her that she can start  on a theme, and then I will just help her out while she writes the story.  But as it turned out, when she sat in front of the computer and started writing, she couldn’t stop and  was even worried about the page limit set by her teacher, which was two pages.  She complained that there was no way that she can squeeze into two pages all the ideas that were coming into her mind.  Fortunately, her teacher allowed a maximum limit of three pages in a long bond paper.  When she finished it, she asked me if I can proofread it and see if I can find any grammatical errors and wrong spelling.  Honestly, I didn’t find any.  I don’t mind being called a stage mother here, LOL, but I’m very proud of the fictional story that my daughter wrote.  I was very surprised that she was able to write the story well, the flow was perfect (at least for me), and the continuity was flawless.  For an 11-year-old first-time writer, it was perfect for me.

Her constant request for me to buy her books really paid off.  Sometimes when I fail to buy her new books, she will just re-read the other books that she owned.  Just like me, she can spend hours browsing through the books in bookstores.  During her last summer vacation, she finished the entire Harry Potter books collection.  She loves reading so much that she couldn’t last a day without reading a book.  This is the reason why I am a constant visitor of Book Sale stores in SM Malls.  Just last week, I bought the 8 books from the collection of a Series of Unfortunate Events.  We still need 4 more books to complete it, hopefully, we can still find it in other Book Sale branches.  When I went home and gave her the books, she couldn’t believe it.  She was so happy and was already so eager to start reading the first book (fortunately, I was able to buy the The Beginning and the The End books), but I reminded her that she has to finish first the book that she is currently reading:  A Bend in the Road by Nicholas Sparks.

Please find time to read the short mystery story written by my daughter:

(This story was written by my 11-year-old daughter as an assignment for one of her subjects in school.  The concept and the content are entirely hers).

This is the story of two children who witnessed the shooting of a man. They helped the policemen in finding the gunman whom they eventually persuaded to talk to the victim. The two men settled their differences and forgave each other.

Charlie Hamilton was born an orphan. He never knew his parents, but that’s because his foster parents, Carrie and Joe Hamilton, were cruel to him and never even bothered telling him how he appeared at their doorstep. He lives a normal life, eats completely everyday, but even though he has all the food, and clothes, he never felt that his foster parents actually love him, but he’s still grateful to them for letting him go to school.  There he met his only friend, Lorraine Davis.  Lorraine was born wealthy, her parents work abroad so, she didn’t have anyone to talk to.  Then she met Charlie, and they have so many things and traits in common, that’s why they became best friends so easily. One day, while they were walking down the street, they saw a man unconscious, he was lying on the floor, he sounds like he was shouting. They ran fast and they took a closer look at him.  He was bleeding so much, Charlie and Lorraine can barely look at him, but, despite their disgust, they called for help. While they were looking around for evidence on what had happened to him, they found a bullet of a gun lying beside where they found him. Then after thorough investigation, Charlie suddenly spoke up.

“Hey! I have a good idea!”

“What is it?”

“We can investigate and find the owner of this bullet while the police are not yet working, maybe we can help, in fact, I have a good feeling the criminal is just here somewhere near our town.  So, what do you think?”

“That’s really a good idea.  But, how can we go to school?”

“Oh, of course we won’t work all day, but we’ll get started immediately after school’s finish.”

“Okay, that’s a deal!”

After that, they followed the people who brought the man to the hospital.  Dr. Michael Clark told them that the man’s name was Peyton Lopez according to his identification.  The policemen arrived in the hospital and told them they’re still finding reasons why a person would shoot him.  They were talking about how to find the criminal.  Then suddenly, Charlie spoke.

“We can help!” said Charlie.

“Oh no, kid.  You’ll just ruin the whole operation.” Officer Kendall said.

“No, I swear we can help, we won’t ruin it, just let us help you.” Lorraine said.

“Okay, but please, promise us you won’t get in the way.” the officer pleaded.

“Of course we won’t!” Lorraine said excitedly.

So the mission was settled.  Charlie and Lorraine were willing to help. On Saturday morning, the first thing Charlie and Lorraine did was meet at the park, they went to the police station together.  There they saw Officer Kendall and Officer Parker.  They drove straight at the place where the shooting happened and Charlie and Lorraine walked around.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, while we were investigating the area yesterday, I found a man climbing on his car, getting ready to leave, and it seems like he was in a hurry.  Then I suddenly realized why he acts so strange and why he looks nervous.  I figured out that maybe he was the criminal!  Don’t you think?”

“Really? I do think he might be the criminal. But we’re not yet sure.  You think we should inform the police about our discovery?”

“I don’t think so.  Let’s just find more evidence before we inform the police.  Just act naturally, like, we haven’t found an evidence yet, when they ask us, okay?”

“Okay.” Lorraine muttered.

Then, at 11:30,the police advised them to eat their lunch first and come back when they’re done.  Once they came back at around 12:20,they got back to work again.

“So, have you found any evidence that can help us here?” Officer Kendall said.

Charlie and Lorraine exchanged nervous looks.  The police officer knew that they already found and discovered something and he knew that they won’t tell him anything, so, he just persuaded them.

“Hey, either you tell me what you discovered or you two are out of this operation!” Officer Kendall was almost shouting.

“Okay, okay, we’ll tell you now, but promise us, you’ll still let us help you?” Lorraine said.

“Yeah fine, just tell me what you discovered.” Officer Kendall said.

“You see, while they were calling for help, I saw a man about to ride in his car, he was kind of in a hurry, so, I was thinking, maybe he was the person who shot the man, because he was the only person I saw there after the incident happened.  That’s the only thing I discovered, I don’t know if that’s any help to you.” Charlie explained.

Officer Parker suddenly spoke up,“ That can be a little help, at least you discovered something, just continue your investigation and we’ll just check on Peyton if he’s already awake, we could ask him some questions too, we’ll just leave you here for a while, if that is fine with you.”

“Yeah, that would be fine, in fact, that would make us feel so much better.” Lorraine said.

So, while Charlie and Lorraine were walking around, Charlie suddenly looked surprised.

“Hey, Lorraine, Look!”

“What is it, what is it?!” she said excitedly.

“He’s the man I saw yesterday!”       

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course, I know his face! Come on let’s follow him!”

While they were running, the man suddenly heard footsteps behind him, then when he turned back, he looked startled and started to run too, he knew that the kids know what he had done to the man.

“Hey, stop!” Lorraine shouted.


The man ran faster, and when a truck suddenly appeared, he had no choice but to slow down and run to the sidewalk. Charlie and Lorraine finally caught up with him, and the moment they were behind him, they pushed him so he would fall, then they started asking questions.

“Hey, were you the one who shot the man?!” Charlie asked.

“What are you talking about? I don’t even know who this man you’re talking about!” the man said.

“Stop lying, we know you’re the criminal, Charlie saw you ready to ride on your car after the incident, just tell us why you did it!” Lorraine screamed.

“So, if you saw an ordinary man riding on his car, it means he’s the criminal?” the man said.

“Of course not, but I saw you hurriedly going inside your car and looking around for people who saw you!” Charlie said.

“Oh, just shut up you two! Okay, okay, I’ll tell you now, but, promise me you won’t tell anybody?” the man hesitated.

“Um, we’re sorry but we can’t promise you that, you see, we’re helping the police find you, so, we don’t think we can keep that promise.” Lorraine said.

“Oh, so if that’s the case, then I won’t tell you the reason. That’s quite fair isn’t it?” the man jokingly replied.

“Uh. Okay, we promise now, just tell us.” Charlie said.

“Really?” the man asked.

“Yeah, we won’t, okay?” Lorraine replied.

“So, you see, we’re businessmen, and he’s my mortal enemy when talking about businesses, that’s because we belong on different companies, and we just met in an event where business companies come together for a talk. He started talking to me after the talk and he talks and boasts non-stop like how his company was always chosen by rich clients and when I was really full of him, I decided to take revenge for all his boasting, but of course, while he was talking, I didn’t make him feel like I was so irritated to him so I just nodded and pretended to be listening while he was talking.”

continuation:  The Adventure of Charlie Hamilton

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84 Comments Posted

  1. I was impressed with your daughter. She really got the talent from you. I admire her love for reading. In today’s world where most of the kids get entertained with their facebook and gadgets, it’s a bit exceptional for some children like your daughter to get hooked on reading books.

  2. One day your daughter will be a good writer, actually she is already a good writer! Anyway, reading books are really helpful aside from giving ideas and knowledge, I hope my 4 years old daughter will engage in reading books when she knows na how to read.

    • Hi Mona, just expose her to books and give in to her requests to read her a story before she sleeps, i’m sure you’ll have a budding reader in no time at all. 🙂

  3. You have a budding writer for a daughter. Such talent for someone her age. It’s remarkable, to say the least. Nothing beats the treasure of knowledge one gets from reading. It’s good that your daughter has a love for the written word.

  4. Yey. I hope I have a kid who loves to read too, so she can inherit some of my books. They’re digital so, I don’t know what technology is there when she comes out. 😛

  5. its very important to inspire and guide children on their interest/s…

    love reading too but i end up not writing short stories but blogging 😉

  6. Interesting! I hope most of the children would engage in such as early as today. That’s a good training! and surely it’ll make her better and better as she does it often 🙂 Impressive!

    • Hi Rochelle, it takes years of exposure to books to train a child and to encourage her to write, hopefully she’ll write more stories. 🙂

  7. Hone the writing skill of your daughter. I wasn’t keen in this when I was her age and hated composition, more so writing a new story. Congratulations for exposing her to this craft and hopefully she fulfills her dream of being a great writer 🙂

    • Hi Farida, my only contribution with her writing skills is that I made sure I indulged her passion for books. Whenever she complains that she doesn’t have books anymore, I always make sure that when I get home from the office, I have new books in tow as pasalubong for her.

  8. I’m sure I’d also be one hell of a stage momma if I have her for a daughter! Your daughter has a real talent for writing, I hope she gets a good break if she pursues it in the future. good luck with the mentoring, mommy! 🙂

  9. This is impressive. Reading does help to inspire young kids. I love reading when I was a younger but I really don’t have a talent for writing.

  10. Impressive and interesting! Your kid sure got a wide imagination. I just wonder how did she created that story, it’s as if a grown up had written that story. I believe you should nurture your kid very well. She got potential as a good writer.

  11. Very impressive! At a very young age she already got talent. I hope you can just help her honed her skills. Maybe she would want a writing career in the near future.

    Visiting from BC.

  12. Amazing. I can’t imagine how proud you must be of your daughter. And to think that she’s only 11 years old. You’ve got a lot of good years ahead of you both. I can predict how she’ll excel in being a writer someday.

  13. Congrats, At an early age you now know that you have a future writer..Hope my kids will also grow up like that..because I’m a self confessed reader but not a writer:)

  14. A writer is first a good reader. Having exposed her to a lot of reading materials has finally kicked in the writer in her…and at a young age. Keep encouraging her. She’s a promising writer.

  15. That’s so wonderful! I cannot wait to see what happens next! I dreamed of being a writer someday. I hope your daughter’s dreams come true.

  16. galing! you will be having an excellent writer in the future…she must be encourage to write more, compile her creations and publish it…in college she can enrol for creative creating course to enhance her skill

  17. Impressive! You’re doing a great job as her mother. She’s promising. You have the every right to be a stage mother, she’s really good. She definitely have it in her.

  18. Your daughter wrote this? She’s so good! Reading really helps stir the imagination, something that’s required of a writer 🙂 I wish I could still write but all the writing i do is for my blogs now. I gave up on story writing a long time ago.

  19. kind of reminds me of this book i read sometime ago, i think it was about a girl who also loves to play detective, my mind is not working right now haha. but your kid is good. good job!

    • Hi, this story was written by my daughter… as for the name Hamilton, she just searched for an appropriate name and just found it thru Google.

  20. Hi! You’ve got a very talented and impressive daughter! I can’t write well honestly and I can’t take reading a lot of literary books. I must congratulate you as your daughter is fond of reading books. It sure did help her writing and imaginative skills.. 🙂 I’m sure she’ll be a good writer and speaker! Cheers 🙂

  21. Wow at your little girl’s work! 😀 I actually got hooked and read until the last part. So nice that although she’s into detective stories, there’s still an innocence and sincerity in her writing.. ^^ Truly inspiring. Hope your little girl nurtures her talent.. 🙂

    • Hi Sumi, Thanks for reading the entire story… she wrote it during the time when she was hooked to Nancy Drew Mystery books. 🙂

  22. wow! the story is really good, like the detective stories that I used to ready. I actually clicked the link so I can continue reading it. I think your daughter has the talent. I can see her writing her own mystery/detective books for the kids in the future. 🙂

    • she wrote it at the time when she was hooked to reading Nancy Drew Mysteries, so I think she got the inspiration from the books that she read. Now, she’s into Nicholas Sparks books 🙂

    • Hi, just click on the link below the post. I couldn’t possibly put everything in there because it’s quite long. Thanks for the visit! 🙂

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