It’s back to school in my side of the world! And with it comes the early morning preparations and more expenses for additional requirements from the teachers. Add to that the emotional preparations for the children and more reminders for them especially for those entering secondary or collegiate school for the first time, because, whether we like it or not, there are still kids out there whose mission in life is to bully and influence other kids.
A child’s wish to belong may have bad consequences if his peer group is into anti-social or negative behavior such as cheating in class, disobedience or rowdiness. Receiving written warnings from your child’s teachers may not be in your list of things to look forward to this school year, so, it would help to talk to your child and prepare him for the days ahead, and if worst comes to worst, I think it would also help a lot to teach him some sort of self defense to ward off those bullies that have the potential to make your child’s life difficult in school.
Children should be made to understand that self-expression through delinquent behavior does them more harm than whatever satisfaction they may get from getting their peer’s approval. If you fear your kids developing unsavory friendships, here are other actions you can take:
- Anticipate. Don’t wait for peer problems to emerge. Talk to your kids about drugs, alcohol, smoking and other social issues before they become a personal issue.
- Cultivate a strong self-esteem. Confident children will be more able to say “no” and make decisions that are “uncool” to their friends. Give them praise, hold back the criticism and imbue them with a positive self-image.
- Rehearse. This early, discuss and play-act with your children what they could say if asked to do something they feel uncomfortable with.
- Find allies. Tell your children that they need not stand alone. If they anticipate an arm-twisting situation, it might help if they bring along some supportive friends.
- Be the “excuse”. Let your children use you as an excuse – that you will get angry – if it will help them get out of a sticky situation.
- Be there for them. Let your kids know you are always there to help them sort out their feelings, answer their questions and ease their doubts. Sympathize and empathize even as you discuss solutions to their problems.
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