Welcome to the Reality of Life

This was what we told our daughter Izah last Sunday when she lost her cellphone:  Welcome to the Real World and the Reality of Life. 

Last Sunday, we brought our kids to Greenbelt to attend the dance practice for their cousin’s debut scheduled on Saturday.  As soon as we saw them settled and had started their practice, my husband and I then left for some errands.  We haven’t reached yet our destination when I got a text message asking me to call Faye.  I thought it was just the usual, “Mommy, I’m bored here”.  But I was surprised when it was Earvin telling me something about Izah’s cellphone, at first, I didn’t get it. Then it became clear that what he was trying to say was that Izah lost her cellphone.  Izah didn’t want to talk to us because she  was crying the whole time.

I’m going to give a little background here:  That cellphone was mine until about a week ago when I got a new cellphone under the retention plan of my postpaid line. I  decided to give it to Izah to replace her old cellphone.  So, it has a sentimental value to me because I’ve been using it for over a year already, and when I gave it to her I told her to take care of it.

When I got the news that Izah lost it, I freaked out, and cried.  We didn’t go to our destination anymore, and instead we returned to Makati to find out what happened.  On our way back, I now consider it a blessing that it took us about 45 minutes to reach Makati, because during that time, I somehow gained my composure.  I also prayed for guidance on how to talk to my daughter about the incident.  

When we reached Greenbelt, we didn’t immediately talk to Izah, but instead, we asked her cousin, Emy, about the details of the incident.  We were told that the kids were having dress rehearsal for the dance, and they went to the Ladies’ Room to change their clothes. Izah’s phone was in her pants’ pocket, so when she changed her clothes, she put the phone on top of the toilet flush.  Her mistake was, when she went out of the cubicle, she didn’t  look back and didn’t check her things.  When they went back to the other room where they were having their practice, and Izah realized that her phone was missing, less than five minutes have passed.  Her cousin even dialled the number, and the phone was still ringing. Izah immediately went back to the Ladies’ Room, and she asked the cleaner if she had seen a cellphone in the cubicle, but the cleaner denied seeing it.  They tried to dial the number again but it was turned off already. It happened in less than five minutes!

They reported the incident to the security people and the guard even checked the things of the lady who was also in the ladies’ room.  My husband and I also talked to the cleaner to ask for some clarifications, and we also went to the security office to file a formal complaint.

We knew that we wouldn’t recover the cellphone again. We knew that after all the efforts  exerted by our nieces and kids, everything was in vain and that there was no way that we will find the person who stole it. But we just tried to turn around the situation and work it to our advantage by sending a positive lesson to our daughter.  We took it as an opportunity to impart to her an important lesson that there are lots of dishonest people out there.  My daughter is sometimes so naive that she thinks when she forgot her things at a certain place, they will still be there when she goes back to get them.  I still remember her asking me one time, when she lost her pair of rubber shoes in school, “Mommy, why didn’t they return my shoes?  Isn’t it being dishonest?” I told her that not all all people are honest, and that it is her responsibility to take care of her own things.

Her Dad and I didn’t scold nor nag her about what happened. We just talked to her in a calm manner, and her Dad even told her not to think about it too much, and that what’s important are the major lessons that she has learned because of the incident.

I think our decision of approaching the matter in a different way made a major impact on her.  It made her realize her mistake because we showed her unconditional love despite what happened.  The following morning, when she woke up, she was not her usual self, and when her Dad and I were about to leave, she embraced me and cried and said sorry over and over again.  Although she had apologized already the day before, we knew that this time, she really meant it because the reality of what happened finally dawned on her.

  We also know that the incident made her stronger and more mature.