How to Get Mad at your Hubby

When you're angry, taking a step back to reflect can be difficult to do --- especially if the person you're mad at is the man you love most. If the emotion gets too much to handle, below are the the things that you can do, according to some counselors:

• Recognize the anger signals. Do your cheeks turn red, do you start to give him the evil eye, or just the silent treatment? Once you know when you're angry it will be easier for you to...
• ...take time out. Physically remove yourself from where you're fighting. "If you're walking away, it's better if you give him cues that you are not merely walking out. You can say, "I noticed that we're both just angry and getting nowhere. So can we just stop and talk after we've calmed down?"
• Take charge of those angry thoughts. Before you say anything you don't really mean (which he'll probably remember for a long time), think about it. Take it easy. Thoughts can be toxic and can push you to do things you'll regret.
• Be assertive. Express anger verbally in a direct and honest way. You can say: "You know, when you do (action), I get (emotion: hurt/angry/jealous)." This will help identify the cause of the anger. It can also show if the angry feelings you have are proportional to the situation. Don't ever resort to blaming or telling your hubby how he failed you, how he's such a frustration. This will only make him defensive."
• Look for solutions. You don't want to be arguing about the same thing over and over again. After identifying what made you angry, suggest actions that need to be taken: "I need a good-night cuddle; or You have to put your socks in the laundry basket; or Can you start attending PTA meetings?"
• If you have a bad fight with your husband, don't be too disheartened. Look at it as a chance to increase your awareness of the consequences of mishandling anger. How did it feel the morning after that you called your husband names the night before? Do you really want to spend a whole week not speaking to each other? Look at the incident and see how you can avoid it happening again.