Constructive Ways to Express Your Anger

We all experience it. Whether we’re angry with our boss, our friend, our spouse or our kids. Sometimes, things get out of hand when we can’t control our anger. We tend to say things that we regret later when our emotions have toned down. Another bad news is: it’s bad for our heart.

I did some research and was able to get some tips on how to express our anger in various constructive ways:

• Take a beat. If you’re furious with your boss, call a good friend and blow off steam — or have an imaginary conversation in your mind before addressing the issue. Once you’re ready to deal with the person directly, don’t use finger-pointing. Instead, calmly explain how you feel and ask for what you need. The point of expressing your anger is to heal your relationships, not to be right. Don’t just talk about what you don’t want, talk about what you do want.
• Get physical. Move the anger out of your body by taking a kickboxing class, beating up cardboard boxes with a plastic bat, or hitting golf balls at a driving range. Vigorous exercise is the single best way to discharge aggressive feelings. You’ll feel more energized and less muddled about solving a situation that may be frustrating you.
• Try healthy yelling. Shouting in a safe place is a terrific way to vent anger. Schedule some time alone to rant, roll up the windows in your car and howl, or scream int he shower. Once you’ve expelled your rage, you’ll feel calmer and better able to think about what might get your needs met.
• Use the three-day letter-writing technique. On day one, write a letter about what upset you, without censoring yourself. Then, on day two, read what you wrote and write a second letter. Finally, on day three, read the first two letters and jot down anything else that occurs to you. When you’ve finished, burn all three letters int he kitchen sink and wash the ashes down the drain. If you still feel angry, go back and do it again, or continue to vent your anger using another technique.
• Ask for help. If you tend to turn your anger inward, call a loving friend or family member and ask her to gently listen as you give voice to your inner critic. Isolation is the culprit when anger is turned inward. Share your thoughts and bad feelings with someone who can act as an intimate ally by reminding you to be tender with yourself. Then ask for her assistance in dealing with the situation in a more effective way.